Learning, determination, motivation, and self-growth are deeply personal. When others try to guide these processes without consent, it often feels shallow or forced. For learning to be effective and not superficial or guidance to truly resonate with me, I need to want it, seek it, or recognise that I need it. I think most of us know this instinctively when we reflect on our own experiences.
I would never claim that democratic, self-directed learning is for everyone. For some children, traditional education leaves no visible scars and even warm memories. But for those of us who choose a different path for our children, it often feels like stepping into uncharted, and sometimes unwelcome, territory. These choices are frequently labeled as experimental, despite the long history of proven models like Summerhill, which is now over 100 years old, or Sudbury Valley School, with more than 50 years of success. Many other schools have formed and followed in their paths, yet they are so outside of the traditional system, that despite the mass of successful graduates going on to lead fulfilled and happy lives, they are still seen as a risky alternative.
It can be a brave and scary thing to give your children the freedom and responsibility to educate themselves. It can feel so passive in approach that it feels neglectful – social conditioning can be a powerful force! Those of us already on this path have likely been on a long journey to get here. The judgment that often comes from those you hold dear can be hard to understand, especially when for ourselves, it isn’t always a journey without doubt or occasional fear. I’m sure many of us who believe that education can be entirely consensual, still have these moments of self-doubt and concern. But tell me this – do you or did you, have the same worries about your child and your choices when following the norm? Worries such as; Is it the right place for them? Are they keeping up? If not, why not? Are they happy? – Being a strong advocate doesn’t negate the worry of whether we are doing the best for our children. Parenting is rarely free from self-doubt, no matter the educational path. But now, years into this journey, I can see the incredible growth in my children. Watching them thrive, knowing they own every achievement and every step they take, confirms that self-directed education was the right choice for us.
Most people when they really think about it know the significance self-directed learning, self-motivation and determination have had in their own lives. We often think of education as solely what we were taught at school, and we don’t equate it to the depth of knowledge that we gained from our family, our culture, our experiences and the environment around us. We don’t see education as an ongoing process, yet we know that it is important for self-growth and happens continuously. I fear the word education has become so entangled with the traditional school system that we end up measuring our worth – and that of our children – by how well they obtain the same knowledge as everyone else in a short period of time. And when nothing else we know or can do, is included in that assessment of worth, then it’s unsurprising that many children and adults are left with feelings of failure and shame. Thinking about our own experiences through a new lens can help us realise that self-directed learning is often more meaningful and long-lasting and can have a far bigger impact on our lives than learning that’s non consensually taught. It’s what makes us unique and what guides us to achieve and do the things that make us happy.
Most of us, if we pause to think, can recognise the significance of how self-directed learning, self-motivation, and determination have shaped our own lives. Yet we often reduce “education” to what we were taught in school, ignoring the depth of knowledge gained from family, culture, our personal interests and lived experience. Education is a lifelong process, not something confined to a classroom. I fear the word education has become so entangled with the traditional school system that we end up measuring our worth – and that of our children – by how well we/they obtain the same knowledge as everyone else in a short period of time. And when nothing else we know or can do, is included in that assessment of worth, then it’s unsurprising that many children and adults are left feeling inadequate or ashamed. Shifting our perspective allows us to see how self-directed learning is often more meaningful and transformative than anything taught without consent. It shapes our uniqueness and guides us toward doing things that make us happy.
So what does Self-Directed Education actually mean? It means simply that the learner has decided for themselves (without coercion) to learn and engage in what it is they are learning. That decision can lead to countless forms of learning— sought-out teacher instruction, self-exploration, hands-on practice, by watching, by organising or even lessons learned as a byproduct of pursuing a goal. Above all, SDE equips individuals with the tools to learn in ways that best suit them.
Think about it this way – Most of us had subjects that we excelled at in school. The commonality to exceeding, is usually down to our own determination or passion for the subject we are learning. Of course, it may be because we loved the teacher, felt comfortable and understood or perhaps just had a natural gift in that area. More rarely is it down to extraordinary teaching alone and even when that is the case, what is it that made them extraordinary? Was it perhaps helped by the rapport they built with the class that in turn helped form a consent-based learning environment? These positive learning experiences in my opinion are nearly always down to the fact that we wanted to learn it – that in itself is a form of self-directed learning.
The traditional education system may have worked well for many of us, and we know it can produce “successful” people. Even those “successful” graduates may really struggle in other areas of their life. Yet we also know those for whom it didn’t work—society is quick to unfairly label these students as ‘lazy’, ‘unmotivated’, or ‘not academic enough’. Phrases like ‘they never applied themselves’ or ‘they were the class clown’ are common place. Too often, we blame the individual, questioning what is wrong with them rather than questioning a system that gives students no voice in their educational journey and expects students to learn in the same way as everyone else.
We don’t listen or learn from the critical objections or apparent ‘defiance’ shown by students within the traditional system. The knowledge and awareness of self and their preferences are often portrayed by others as superfluous and even perhaps shameful. Yet most of us value these very same qualities as adults. These critical and analytical thinking skills paired with self-belief are regarded with contempt and disdain when not directed in a certain permitted fashion. Yet we know they are vital in a world where the future depends on having original thought (that may not always be popular) to help the global community progress.
In SDE settings young people are given the time to develop their whole being and become their most authentic selves. An education model that supports individuality, passions and personal interests and that takes into account the sum of all a child’s knowledge and not just what has been ‘taught’, is a place where confidence and ability can develop side by side in a trusting and non-judgmental way.
To choose EKS or self-directed education in general, is to choose to trust your child. Parents and onlookers may question, ‘Can we really trust children? How can they possibly know what they need to know?’ As an ‘insider’ so to speak, I can tell you that I see children at EKS collectively managing a business and a community and learning all the skills needed to do that effectively. I see them following their passions and developing their skills and knowledge areas through their own choice and exploration. And I see them tackling moral dilemmas and distinguishing perception and perspective with both understanding and empathy and often doing all this in a more responsible and impassioned way than many adults I know.
When measuring success, we think of wealth, qualifications or our status/position in society. Maybe that’s a good definition for some but how we value success is not really definable, it’s personal.
I believe that self-directed democratic education paves the way for a new definition of success. Giving children the time; to know themselves, to use their voice and be listened to, to understand the importance of consent, to find the things that put fire in their belly and to nurture their complete uniqueness in order to make the most of their time on our wonderful planet, allows them to develop their own version of success. A definition os success that focuses on the joyful threads of humanity, happiness, fulfilment and the ability to actively engage in the society we live in. If this was a popular frame of reference for success then perhaps we would have an education system that promoted well-being above all else.
I know that our students will go out into the world with the belief they can achieve all they want to. And for me, that is all that matters.
